Since returning from Thailand, life seems to be as rolling as a sine wave - highs and lows with a short wavelength. It's a bit frustrating at times. A friend of mine once told me that Type A people are more likely to suffer more extreme highs and lows than others. That might be the case, but it certainly doesn't help in dealing with them. So I try and ride it out, increase the dosage of anti-depressant that I'm taking, and hope life smooths out a bit.
My training plans have essentially sunk. Between travel and injuries, I'm not on track and suspect that canning the entire idea of a half ironman is in my best interest and simply focusing on regular training for the summer in between travel and other parts of life. I don't like it, but there's no chance of me getting back on track now for September - I'm in Norway for 10 days at the end of this month, and then in Thailand in August for 20 days.
Tuesday morning I had a big scare. Around 4am, I woke up feeling clammy and just not right. I was actually sore on my right side, not able to lie on it. So I decided to go to the washroom. Started walking back to the bedroom and all of a sudden I felt like I was drunk or having a stroke - disoriented, vision issues - both tunnel vision and black and white stars and floaties - no motor control, stumbling all over. I wandered like this for a couple of minutes, scared shitless and having no idea of what was happening to me. At one point my legs completely gave out and I crashed to the ground in the doorway, smashing my right butt and back as I went down. I tried to call 911 - no such luck - my hands wouldn't work and I couldn't see properly. It was pretty freakin' scary. A minute or two later, the symptoms pretty much went away. I decided that I needed to go to the hospital - got dressed, was coherent enough to feed the dog and take him to the corner to pee, then drove myself to the hospital. Maybe not the smartest move given that I was still pretty disoriented and out of it!!
I sat in the ER for about 6.5 hours. Not a fun place to be!! Freezing cold, hungry, scared, worried that Rebel wouldn't get out for his walk. I finally saw a doctor and her tag-along med student assistant around 8am. Having a med student there was great - they were much more thorough than a doctor alone would have been. They did an ultrasound (in case the side pain was associated with the weird drunken session), blood sugar, an EKG, and urinalysis. All was normal. Which is very frustrating!!! They ultimately sent me home and told me to follow up with my regular doctor.
It's very worrying and was a very scary episode. There has to be a reason for all of a sudden being completely out of control of your own body. My suspicion is a drug interaction - I took a Neo Citrin and a cold pill before going to bed. Although I've never had such a reaction before. Maybe an interaction with my antidepressant? I also called a doctor friend of ours and he said that sometimes if your blood pressure drops and you're dehydrated, such a thing can happen. He said not to worry unless it happens frequently. The other possibility is some sort of diabetic incidence as it was very like a low blood sugar shock. With the prevalence of diabetes in my family, I wouldn't be surprised.
So I have an appointment with my GP on Monday to see if she can shed some light on things. Everyone says "don't worry, it's likely nothing", but really, when was the last time "nothing" caused you to feel like you were having a stroke in the middle of the night??? It's NOT normal. The best I can do right now is just try and sleep normally without panicking too much. Focusing and concentrating at work is not happening, thus the blog entry right now. I have been overly tired the last couple of months, and I know it's not from over-exercise. I haven't been motivated to get up in the morning until 8:30am or 9am. And not motivated for work or even training. So maybe there is a more serious underlying cause. Or maybe it's just the regular sine wave of depression. I hit a really bad streak around Easter, brought on by 2 male dumbfucks treating me like shit and one who was simply acting like a dumbfuck. My impression of the male species was not good for a while there!
That's life in a nutshell here. The good things that life in our neighbourhood has become fun - getting to know more neighbours and the new tenants below me are great. It's starting to feel much more like 'home' with a community feel. I like that.
